Muse
by regnum
Summary: [Sorato] Well it's about time. So what happens when Yamato invites Sora to one of his gigs? It's all about learning to take a risk. Especially when something is so right. UPDATED
1. Yamato

**Muse**

**Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine, comprende?**

**A/N: I seem to be writing a lot of POVs lately. I'm writing this to dispel a wee thing called 'writer's block'. For those (patiently) waiting for new chapters for BOTH my fics…be a little more patient. But hopefully this will tide the RABID Sorato fans over. **

~*~

_Yamato:_

A blank piece of paper just waiting to be filled with words. Words to the next song that I'll write. As is my recently acquired practice, my eyes stray to the framed photograph that sits on my desk. The glass surface mirrors bright blue orbs, and beneath it, lies a picture of the object of my affection.

No-one knows that but me.

Don't get the wrong impression. It's not some lovey-dovey couple picture. Rather, it's a group picture. All of us, from Taichi to Iori, digimon included. Because it's such a big group, our faces are rather small. I don't mind though, every inch of this photograph is firmly etched in my memory. 

The only thing that is of interest to me is the redhead that stands beside me. There she is, smiling for the camera – even though the machine fails to capture the sparkle in her eyes or the life in her smile. All things considered, it's a cardboard copy of her. 

But it serves its purpose. 

I wish I'd taken the initiative that day and slipped an arm around her waist or something. Maybe held her hand. That's the kind of stuff that daydreams are made of. I wish I could tell her how I feel so we can live happily ever after, but that only exists in storybooks. 

I don't believe in storybooks. They're all well and good when you're a kid, but when you grow older you realize that life isn't as simple as that and not everything has a happy ending.

Take my parents as an example. Basically, my family has reached a compromise, my parents are friends. There's no happy ending for the Ishida-Takaishi clan. I've finally come to the conclusion that we'll never really be a 'family' again. 

That's why I can't tell her. Because if I do, she'll probably laugh in my face. Nah, she's nicer than that. She'll probably say something along the lines of, "That's sweet, but we're better off as friends, Yamato." 

I don't think I could stand that. 

It seems silly, I know. I've gained this reputation of being a bit of a ladies man, the cool guy in school. Heck, girls chase me down the hallways! But I don't have the guts to tell the girl I really like how I feel about her. Ironic isn't it? 

So I sit at home, lock my room door and write. No, I don't write poetry or mushy things like that, I write music. I write songs. If they're good, I take them to band practice and – if the guys like it – we practice them, then we play them in the concerts. 

She doesn't know that all these songs are written with her in mind. 

They're not love songs. Far from it. They're just…songs. But they're for her all the same. To be honest, I think the only reason I write is her. She is what inspires me. 

I don't want to sound cocky, but lately the words have been flowing better. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this songwriting gig. There are times on stage where I want to acknowledge all she's done for me. Say something like, "This song is for a very special friend. You've inspired me to become a better person and I want to thank you for it." 

I'd like to, but that's borderline mushy, and borderline mushy just ain't me. Too bad. It'd be interesting to see her reaction I guess. It might make her blush or something.

There's just something about her, you know? When she smiles, I feel a smile creeping up my face. Her laughter makes me want to laugh too. She's always been there for me, even when I was this closed off, sullen preteen with a chip on his shoulder. 

Sometimes I think she'll be a better friend than I'll ever be. But I understand why she holds the crest of love. To me, she is love. There's so much love in her heart, call me presumptuous, but that's what I think. I guess that's why she cares so much for people. She's so focused on others that sometimes she forgets to think about herself. 

One day, I'll volunteer to do that for her. I'd like that. If I could, I'd treat her like the most precious thing in the universe. If I could, I'd protect her from the world. If I could, I'd tell her how I feel. I wish I could, but I can't. 

There's a part of me that doesn't want to endanger what we already have. I've always known our friendship was special. I don't want to risk that – even if I think I could be falling in love with her. 

Better to have her in my life in some small way than have her out of my life. 

The guys in the band tease me non-stop. I tell them they're jealous, and she just laughs it off. I wish she'd play along sometimes though. That'd be interesting. 

I smile a little at the memory and scribble a couple of words down. She's still smiling at me from the picture frame. Feeling a little silly, I grin back. As long as no one walks in and finds me grinning at a photograph, I'm safe. Ever thankful for a chair with wheels, I scoot over to the door and check to see if I actually locked it. 

It never hurts to be too careful. 

I can imagine what my father would say. Or, worse yet, what Takeru would say. I shudder at the thought; I'd never hear the end of it then. Although…I could get him back with a few well-aimed quips about Hikari and him. Well, better safe than sorry. 

Without realizing it, I'm humming a tune under my breath. It fits the words perfectly. I grab the pencil again and quickly scribble down a couple of chords. Clearing my throat, I sing the first few bars of the song. It's a little shaky, but once I get the other guys in on this we'll probably manage to get it smoothed out. 

I can't wait to get started. 

~*~

**A/N: Well, what did you think? I'm tentatively planning another part, (this time from Sora's POV) after this, and maybe a final, concluding part. But nothing if I don't get some constructive criticism! You got that? **

© 2002-06-22

Abi


	2. Sora

**Muse**

**Disclaimer:** Digimon is not mine. 

**A/N:** My fic to dispel the dreaded Writer's Block has become an entity on its own…what have I done?? 

…thanks to the reviewers!

~*~

_Sora:_

Unfinished math homework sits on my desk. I've been getting behind in my homework. I can't help it though; lately every time I'm free I find my thoughts straying to _him._

_Him. _Or rather, Ishida Yamato. He's supposed to be a friend, but right now, I wish he was something more. Yeah, that's right. I have a crush on Yamato, only _the most popular boy in school. He has legions of fangirls who swoon when he walks past; his locker is constantly surrounded by ditzy girls just _dying_ to touch him and he's been one of my best friends since forever. _

This wasn't supposed to happen. 

I'm sure there's a rule about this somewhere, you're not supposed to fall for your best friend. What if it doesn't work out? Where do you go from there? Can you even recover your friendship after that?

A sigh slips past my lips, I really think about this way too much. As far as I know, this is completely one sided. Yamato has never given me what could be termed 'special attention', at least, not in public. 

It's good in a way. I definitely don't have the patience to deal with his thousands of fans, and I've seen how some of his fangirls treat the girls Yamato pays attention to. It's not pretty. Heck, it's downright vicious. I've seen those girls run off crying while those bullies who love Yamato _so much stand there and smile. It makes me sick._

One day I'm going to have to tell Yamato about the little wars he manages to instigate. 

The point is, Yamato has all these girls throwing themselves at his feet. Why would he pick me? I spin around in my chair and study my reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall. Shoulder length coppery-red hair, cinnamon eyes that I've always thought were too far apart, and a mouth that curves into a too-wide smile. My figure is completely average and when it comes to dress sense, I'm pretty much a tomboy. Other than my school uniform I don't wear many skirts and people are more likely to see my in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. 

Okay, so I'm being shallow. I'm assuming that Yamato would choose a girlfriend strictly on a looks basis, and that's not true. Yamato's got more sense than that. The thought gives me a little hope, but it dies just as quickly. Because I know that to him, I'll always be a friend, one of the digidestined team. I don't think he'll ever see me as anything more. 

That's the hard part though, isn't it? Because I want him to see me as something more. Sometimes, when I'm sitting in that too-crowded cafeteria in school I pick out the couples around me and wish that they were the two of us. Holding hands, whispering together, sharing secrets and stories that no one else would understand. But even I know that wishes like that don't come true. 

It doesn't stop me from wishing though. 

I don't get it. There are so many other guys in school, why Yamato? Why not even Taichi, my best friend from so many years ago? It sounds corny, I know, but somehow, I just feel like I know Yamato, inside and out. I understand him. I understand why he feels like he has to protect Takeru from the hurts of the world, I understand why he's so driven to make a name for himself; I understand why he's so stubborn, why he never lets anyone help him. 

There's a photo on my desk. It's of the digidestined, taken not so long ago in the digital world. There he is, standing right next to me. He has that half-smile on his face. The one that says "I'm too cool for this photo but I'll let you take it anyway". 

It's a funny smile. Because I know that deep down inside, he doesn't feel cool. I know that the coolness is just a front. He's human; he hurts the same as I do. I wish he'd be more open about it, even if just to me. I wish he'd see that I understand how he feels. That he feels like he's never good enough. I understand, because I feel the same. 

I'm not as cynical as he is, especially not about love. I have the crest of love after all. But sometimes it's hard for me – even me! – to believe in that. I haven't seen love that lasts a lifetime. Or at least, not the kind of love I'm thinking about. My parents love me, but their love for each other died a long time ago. I hate it, but it's true. 

That's why I'm scared. I'm scared to let him know how I feel, sacred to let anyone know. It's silly, but I think they'll all laugh at me. 

But sometimes, just _sometimes_, I wish I could hold his hand. I wish I could brush that really annoying lock of blonde hair out of his eyes. I wish I could tell him. I do. I do and I don't. 

There's a knock at my bedroom door and soon after my mother pokes her head in the room. "Sora, its dinner time, hurry up." She smiles, closing the door again. I look over at the unfinished math homework and sigh.

Great, I did it again. 

~*~

**A/N: **Yes, I realize how long it's been and I realize that most of you will have forgotten about me. Don't get too excited, I just felt like writing all of a sudden, that's all. *^^* If this carries on it'll be 10 years before I finish anything. There may or may not be a third part to this (do you trust me??) In any case, comments would be appreciated…greatly appreciated. So leave a review or something.

**Thanks to:** All the people who kept up with the reviews even when I took my "leave of absence" so to speak. This one's for all you guys. I can't promise there'll be much else, but I'll try. Also, for **lunita, because she talked to me and made me think about what it would be like to write again. Go read her fic guys, it's good. **

© 2003-05-05

Abi


	3. Finale

**Muse: Finale**

**Disclaimer:** Digimon is not mine. Nor is the song. Thank Detour180. I recommend them to anyone who cares to listen.

**A/N:** So I finally thought of a way the third part could work. We'll be jumping POVs people. Get ready for the ride.

~*~

_Sora:_

I hate Mondays. They're my busiest day. I don't get a study break on Mondays. To top it off, I've got two tests today. Math and Japanese History. Could anything be more boring? I honestly tried to study. But I'm so far behind that I'm pretty sure that it's a lost cause. Hopefully my parents don't kill me when I fail.

_Okay, think _positive_, Sora. _

Lot of good that's going to do me.

Well, I can probably bluff my way though the Math test. And lucky for me Japanese History isn't till after lunch. That means attempting to study in all my other classes today. 

~*~

_Yamato:_

There she is, the girl of my dreams. I'm standing in the hallway watching her struggle with the combination lock on her locker. How pathetic am I? Still, she looks cute. The way that lock of hair keeps falling in her eyes, the way she pushes it away irritably. 

She would hate it if she knew I thought she was cute. It's such a girl word. 

Okay, I've gotta play it cool. I can't just keep standing here and gawking. What I need is some movement, like a casual walk. 

"Hey."

She's looking up and, yes, I get that smile. It's a gorgeous smile. Blows me away every time. It's the kind of smile that makes a guy weak at the knees. I'll bet you Sora doesn't realize that. 

"Hey," she shoves a couple of books into her backpack, "What's new?"

"Oh, nothing much," I'm going for casual cool, leaning against the locker next to her. "The band's got a gig this weekend."

"Oh yeah?" Okay, she doesn't look very interested, this could be bad. In fact, she's barely paying me any attention at all, flicking through the pages of a mammoth textbook. "That's nice."

"I was hoping you'd come along." 

She looks up and there's this weird look on her face. Like she doesn't know what to think. Crap, does she know? Okay, I have to cover this blunder. Think, Yamato, _think_.

"Uh…you know, if you want to. I was gonna ask all the others to come along as well. We're doing some new songs and…uh…publicity is always good. 'Keru really wanted to come and I think Kari did as well." Right, now I'm just babbling. I couldn't sound like more of an idiot if I tried. 

"Oh." She smiles again, but it's different this time. I can't really pinpoint what it is. "Sure. I'd love to come. Get me the details okay?"

The bell rings. 

Sora slams her locker shut. "I'll talk to you later. I _really_ can't be late."

~*~

_Sora:_

What just happened? That _sounded_ a whole lot like Yamato asking me out. Or maybe I'm just looking into things way too much. It's just another gig. He's really proud of the band. It makes sense that he wants us there. 

I'm just making a big fuss about nothing. 

I mean, really. Me and Yamato? It's an impossibility. 

I don't know how many times I've gone through the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" but the truth is, it will never happen. I'm just not his type. Plus, there's, as always, the fangirls. I don't think I could deal with them. Or rather, I'd deal with them inappropriately. I've never been afraid to speak my mind. And it's no different with those annoying teenyboppers. All of them, and I mean _all_ of them, need to get lives.

I have no idea why Yamato puts up with it. The screaming. The girls who just want to hug him. The girls who love him "so much". 

They're all the same. Completely empty headed and shallow. 

And the other thing apart from Yamato that they all share in common? Their hatred of me of course. I'm the complete opposite of all of them – and I take pride in that fact – and I'm Yamato's friend. Correction, one of Yamato's closest friends. So naturally, I have to put up with the whispers, the looks and the snide comments. 

Lucky for me I can stand up for myself. 

The bell rings, homeroom is over, and my math textbook is still sitting unopened in front of me.

Crap.

~*~

_Yamato:_

Gig night. There's always the few butterflies when we play a gig. Tonight there's a whirlwind of them. They feel like their going to take off any minute now. 

Why am I so nervous?

Good question.

Sora's coming tonight. No, it's more than that. It's because I'm about to listen to Taichi. Yeah, I know. The world as we know it is coming to an end. But he makes sense sometimes you know? 

_"Take a risk, Ishida. You'll never know unless you try."_

Take a risk. He's right. At least this way I'll know for sure and I'll know that I at least tried. I took the new song that I wrote in to the guys last week. They liked it, and we're going to play it. It's the first song I've ever written that directly relates to her. 

I'm taking my risk.

Who knows, I might get lucky. It might pay off.

~*~

_Sora:_

Here I am. I lost Kari and Takeru somewhere in the crowd. Oh well. I think they wanted to be alone anyway. Young love. Hah. 

I tend to get a little cynical when standing in a crowd with a hundred or so teenyboppers. Every time Yamato says something they scream. Heck, even when he doesn't say something they scream. He doesn't help. He just encourages them. 

I've just remembered why I stopped going to his gigs. As the band's popularity grew, so did the crowds and so did the screams. I'm glad I remembered my ear plugs. This way, the screams are at a tolerable level, I can hear the music and I can focus on the young man on stage.

There he is. Stage lights playing on his hair. Hints of gold shine as he runs his fingers through it. He's flashing that cocky grin again. They love it and he knows it. I'd like to know where he learnt to play with a girl's emotions like that. Yeah, he's hot. But he's more than that. He's got the whole package. The looks. The talent. But he's also got heart. He's a good friend. He's a friend that I cherish very deeply. 

And I'm so proud of him for achieving his dreams.

~*~

_Yamato:_

This is it. _The _moment. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Step up to the microphone. I wish I could see her in the crowd.

"How're you guys liking it so far?"

The screams are reaching a fervor pitch. It's always such a rush when I do that. Grin.

"Awesome! We're gonna do a new song now. It's a song I wrote recently." 

Pause. More screams.

"It's called 'She Walked In' and it's about a good friend of mine."

Another deep breath. Is it normal for one's heart to beat this fast?

"I can't actually see her out there, but I know she's here. Sora, this one's for you."

I did it. I actually did it. Well, I semi-did it. But there's no time to think now, not when there's a song to sing.

_It sure felt good today_

_Standing on the frontline_

_The earth, the sun, me and you_

_Your beauty in my eyes_

_The reason for my smile_

_Take this picture and give it over to you_

_She walked in and made me smile_

_Talked a bit then stayed for awhile_

_Beautiful vessel, who is full in you?_

_Come fill me_

_I stand and watch as the earth disappears_

_As the sky and water become one_

_And every time I think of love I think of you_

_And how you move me_

_You move me_

_She walked in and made me smile_

_Talked a bit then stayed for awhile_

_Beautiful vessel, who is full in you?_

_Come fill me_

_And here I am waiting_

_Waiting for you_

_With arms outstretched_

_And here I am longing_

_Longing for you_

_For you_

_She walked in and made me smile_

_Talked a bit then stayed for awhile_

_Beautiful vessel, who is full in you?_

_Come fill me_

The screams of the crowd fill my ears. But there's only one person I want to see now.

~*~

_Sora:_

Did he just do that?

Am I dreaming?

I want someone to pinch me. I _must_ be dreaming.

But no, the girls next to me are wondering who 'Sora' is. It sounds like they hate her already. 

If only they knew.

If only they knew.

~*~

"Hey," he looks scared, more than a little nervous. Shifts his weight slightly, one foot to another, then meets her eyes, "So, what did you think?"

"I liked it. I still don't like the girls, but other than that it was great. You guys have really improved." She smiles, "Honestly? I was quite proud." 

He laughs. He loves that she's so honest around her. "I'm glad."

"So," she raises an eyebrow, "Are you ever going to ask me out, Ishida?"

That remark easily defuses the tension that both of them have been feeling. He raises his hands in defense, "I was getting to that!"

"Uh huh. Right."

"I was," he offers her his hand, "What are you doing now? Because I would love to take you out for a coffee. That is, if you'd like to."

She takes his hand, "I'd love to go out for a coffee."

"Sora?" 

"Yeah?"

He pulls her close, loving the way her eyes widen at their closeness. Just as she begins to relax again, he makes his final move. 

He seals the deal with a kiss.

~*~

There you go, the third and final installment in the **Muse** trilogy. (Can I call it trilogy?) I don't know if I'm completely happy with it, but it's done. The song's a great one, again, **Detour180** – check them out! They rock. If I'm not wrong they're doing a USA tour now. I could be wrong. Hopefully the jumping of POV and the final part in third person didn't confuse too many people. Comments and criticisms are always welcome!! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far.

© 2004-03-22

Abi


End file.
